Change Starts with You (and 3 Steps to Start)

“Stuckness” sucks. The way out? Realizing that nothing is keeping you glued in place but you. That you don’t need to wait for something to happen to loosen you from the grip of whatever’s got you. And the big realization: That change starts with you.

What do you mean, “Change Starts With You?”

It starts with a hope, or a thought that things can be better than they are now. Then, exploring how that might happen. Accepting that we do have the power to make change. It’s doing this versus dwelling on the negative, blaming others, shutting down new ideas, thinking it’s not worth the effort, or whatever other negative self-talk may be taking place. All those things cause us to be stuck.

You control the dialogue with yourself. If your response to everything is “I can’t, I can’t,” you will stop change from happening. I admit–I’ve been guilty of this before. What I needed to do was turn that around. To really believe the “change starts with you” mantra.


It’s usually a pretty strong reaction to something.  This is when change makes you, because you are confronted with something–stress, or a specific situation.

I remember being in a work environment where everyday was a chore and I dreaded it. I didn’t realize then that change started with me. I felt trapped.  At the time, there was some limiting belief about myself that I didn’t make change, or if I did, didn’t do it fast enough. Or maybe the belief was that I could change others.

Have you been there? Either way, change starts with you.

In order to make change at any level of “stuckness,” you have to identify a small action you can take and from there gain momentum. This is, in part, what I help Creative Partnering(TM) Engagement clients to do. And I do it based on looking at what they truly want and what they naturally excel at (their strengths). Obviously, it’s highly situational to each individual, but the change has to come from having the courage to take that initial action. Action is the cornerstone of confidence–and change.

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change starts with you

3 Steps to Getting Started

Feeling stuck?  Here are 3 first steps you can take:

  1. Take a small action. Sometimes it feels like you’re in quicksand and there is nothing to do but sink. That is all in your mind. To prove it, write for 10 minutes about all the options you have for taking action. If those actions feel too big, break them down into small, specific tasks. Instead of “Look for a new job,” give yourself the task of reaching out to one former colleague about her current job and company by next week. If you have a hard time keeping promises to yourself, find a coach or accountability partner to assist you. I know there are other barriers to taking a small action; I’ll address those in a future post. (Sign up to get that straight in your inbox.)
  1. Ask, “Who can help me with this?” Too often we do not ask for help or use the resources available to us. Decide that you are important enough to receive help, that it is a gift to let someone else help you, and that it is a sign of true leadership–not failure or weakness. Define and call on your A-list.
  1. Increase your self-awareness – through journaling, meditation, or feedback about yourself. There are many tools and assessments that will give you this feedback and I believe investing in yourself is the best bet you can make. StrengthsFinder is my tool of choice for clients, combined with a session designed to uncover what you really WANT in life. Any type of self-awareness tool or time dedicated to looking at yourself is a good starting place for change–and to re-build your confidence.

Ok, there are three first steps for you. Which one will you do NOW? Let me know in the comments and tell us how change starts with you.

Need an idea for a small action you can take? Sign up for a complimentary 15-minute call with me to help you see what you truly want and make better decisions as a result. Select “Better Decision Making Call” and request a time to speak!